That time I grew up

“Anne laughed and sighed. She felt very old and mature and wise - which showed how young she was.”

 - Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery

About a year ago, I graduated from college. 

A mortarboard, as stock photo as it gets.

As with most things that happened in the past and offer themselves for deep reflection, graduation seems like it was both yesterday and many, many years ago. 

Some point during my senior year it occurred to me that I was growing up and I had to embrace this fully. It was rather shocking and worrisome, but also exciting to realize soon I'd be a fully-functional adult in the Real World. 

Around that time I had a Princess Bride calendar that I loved dearly. (I am very particular about obtaining the perfect calendar every year. I guess you could say my calendars reflect my character.)

Realizing I'd soon enough have to be making mature life decisions, however, I came to the further realization that this would be my final year for silly calendars. 

I'd have to get some professional sort of calendar, I thought; the kind you can put up in an office, or look distinguished about when people visit and happen to see it. In other words, totally boring. 

So I bought myself a classy Wonders of the World or Great Buildings of the World sort of calendar, which was quite aesthetically pleasing but lacking in any character. 

I was proud of my accomplishment, which I figured was one of my first steps toward an independent adulthood. 

I was growing up! 

The Princess Bride calendar

But then I turned in my thesis, and I got my diploma, and I walked off the stage at commencement. And oddly enough, total understanding of the world around me, with automatically embedded skills for handling Life, weren't handed to me with the diploma. 

I talked with numerous graduated friends about the peculiar post-graduation "existence." It seemed that graduation wasn't so much a ticket to adulthood, but a kick out of the kiddie pool into the deep end as you learn to survive on your own - for real this time, no RAs included. 

Over this past year, I stopped focusing on trying to grow up, and I've learned more about myself. I took a road trip across nearly half the country for a friend's wedding, with all of the adventures you can imagine, and lived to tell the tale. I got my own apartment. I got to hold the first baby of a childhood friend. I began my career as a journalist. I brought a miniature rose plant back to life. I baked my first pie. I ushered a local community theater performance of Shrek the Musical. I picked a new parish to attend, entirely on my own. And I'm planning my wedding. 

You can't force yourself or anyone to grow up faster than they already are, though you can disillusion them or scandalize them or push them. It just happens ... and you only realize it afterwards. 

I can't say I feel "older" than I was last May - but I do feel "different." As Anne Shirley felt so very mature in "Anne of the Island," it was clearly a sign, explains the author, that she had hardly seen anything at all yet. 

I know myself better today. But I know there's so much more to come. 

And, in case you were wondering, this year I have a delightfully goofy Chick-Fil-A cows calendar. And I'm proud of it.